Friday, 9 March 2012

Juliet 2.0

It is never a good sign when your phone starts to ring in the middle of the night.  I reach out from under the duvet and fumble around on the nightstand, accidentally knocking the phone onto the floor in the process.  I mutter some choice words into my pillow and retrieve the phone, answering it while still face down.
“Ty! It’s me, I need your help.”  It takes me a moment to recognise my cousin’s hushed voice.
“You need to get over here,” she tells me. “Now.”
“What’s the matter?”
“There is some guy in our yard!”
“He’s creeping me out. Can you come over?”
“Who is it? Do you know him?”
“Yeah…” I can practically hear her biting her lip. “I may have danced with him earlier tonight.  I thought he was cute, but that was before I realised he’s that psycho who’s had the hots for Rosie.  Real stalker material, you know?”
“And what exactly is he doing in your yard?”
Juliet sighs.
“I think he’s professing his love for me.”
“For you?”
“I know.  Rosie will be so relieved he’s not bothering her anymore.”
“Do you think he’s dangerous?”
“I don’t know. All the doors are locked, so he can’t get in.  But Dad’s away and Mum took one of her sleeping pills, so I’m all alone out here.  I think I’d feel much safer if you came over and told him to get lost.”
“Of course.” I stumble across the room in the dark, in search of my trousers. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.  Just shut the curtains and pretend you’re not home.”
“Thanks, Ty. I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it cuz.”  I hang up and pull on a shirt, before grabbing my car keys and heading out into the night.


  1. I loved the mother on sleeping pills! The dialogue works well because it is believable and zips along at a pace.

  2. More than the dialogue, the human element I enjoyed is intuiting that she was biting her lip. That made it almost winningly cute.

  3. I'm a big fan of dialogue, so I got my fill here. Thanks for sharing!

  4. I like it when someone does a new take on an old story & does it well. You did it well!

  5. Flowed nicly Philip. I wonder if she would have found it romantic if she didn't know that he had stalked her friend Rosie.

  6. Ha ha, clever fellow, love the references Rosie, Jules and Ty. Yeah that guy is a really psycho. Enjoyable, engaging and very competent dialogue and pace. This is a really good one. Thanks.